it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
