Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just found a bag of teeth...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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