His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
