she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
