sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
