Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
