I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
