super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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