Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
