Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
