i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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