tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
