I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
