Soap is not a condiment
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
