Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my being single is dangerous.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
