I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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