shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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