i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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