Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Who died my cat blue again?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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