i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
