i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
COCAINE IS GR8
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize