is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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