I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
