It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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