i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
