He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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