shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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