I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All I want is dick and wine.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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