All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
