He told me they were just razor bumps!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
