1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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