i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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