and you said cock pushups were impossible
honey bunches of taint.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
