I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
As shirtless as possible
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
