i would punch a child for taco bell
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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