I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
