do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
