My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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