Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
