I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
