There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
