yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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