I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
