real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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