opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think your dad took our porno
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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