i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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