a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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