You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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