the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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