Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
