ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
