I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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