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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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