my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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