Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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