I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize