After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
