This girl is more easily done than said...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
